Well, we all know a few. They hafta drive a Lexis, get their nails done weekly and think shopping at Neiman Markup is a contact sport. They got 10 year old crap in their closet with the price tags still on. Jericho has run with a few in his time but Joe don't have much use fer 'em...
Now, back in the day, the maintenance money went fer boob jobs, fancy lingerie, filet mignon and martinis at pricey watering holes...You know, stuff that Joe could get into...
But now, it is pretty much money wasted. Expensive presents fer whiny grand kids, god-damn vet and grooming bills fer mutts and week-ends in New Orleans with the girls.
But here is the worst...Rusty just came home from the dentist and said she needed a new bridge...$11,000!!!!
Fer 11 grand, Joe could buy a FREAKIN' REAL bridge---or at least a brand new Yamaha 115 or a pretty fair Harley. Hell, fer 11 Gs, Joe could get two of them little Chinaman cars that are so popular these days.
Joe suggested just chewing on the other side but that didn't set too well.
A new FREAKIN' bridge...Where's the fun in that...If you are gonna piss away hard earned chedder, you should get a chuckle or two...
And, it ain't like it mattered that much...the teeth were way in the back and you couldn't even see the gap unless she was smiling...And it ain't like there has been a shitload a french kissing goin' on in the past decade or so...
And Jericho is such a pussy...He didn't even FREAKIN' CONSIDER putting a pillow over her face or the "two go out, one comes back" boating option...He just doled out the benajmins.
Freakin' dentist is probably laughing his ass off while he and his hygienist huff the nitrous oxide and dry hump in the little closet where they keep the X-ray machine...
Not to put too fine a point on this, but Joe could actually live on the little tid-bits that Jericho could ooch outa Uncle Sugar- medicare, social security and...well, Jericho is a poster child fer Agent Orange. I Bet he could get $1500 a month outa the freakin' VA if he would just listen to old Joe...
Any way, Jericho has a few acres on a mudhole that practically dries up every other year. It has a real yuppie name but Joe likes to call it "Lake Be Gone" in honor of his life long appreciation of "Prairie Home Companion". All Joe needs is a camper with an air conditioner...Hell, he don't even need a crapper. That is what God made straw pine and palmetto groves fer...
Bath??? well, there is always enuff water in Lake Be Gone fer a good scrub. Just throw a stick in fer Gator Bait ta fetch first in case there be snakes and such in there.
Here is the point of all a this...Old women are a pain in the ass! They need stupid stuff like nice houses and cars and money in the bank. And health and medical care. Joe would be happy fritterin' away the rest of his days croppy fishing with Gator Bait from the old john boat.
Women...useless...at Joe's age, they are just like a chain saw...They are so infrequently necessary that a short term rental is the best buy...Hell, there is a Sammy's not 10 miles from Lake Be Gone...Them country girl morning strippers dig old Joe...
If the world ran right, females would die right after their boobs start ta sag...
Well, that's it...I guess their isn't a solution to this because Rusty is always exercizing and looks like she is gonna live to be a hundred. And, she knows where all the money is...Jericho is a moron and let her take over the banking years ago...
It is sad, really...
Joe! You didn't just let her know where the money is... She knows where money is, that you DON'T!
ReplyDeleteAnd Dood! Eleven grand for a farkin' BRIDGE?? More money you don't know where to look for, or even that it exists.
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